A Semester in the Life of a Garbage Bag by Gordon Korman

Author:Gordon Korman [Korman, Gordon]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
ISBN: 9781443119795
Publisher: Scholastic Inc.
Published: 1984-12-31T16:00:00+00:00

After the hair tonic salesman’s toupee fell off

He decided to lower the price.

So I bought six cases.

A bargain is a bargain.

“It’s okay,” said Sean thoughtfully, “but I don’t think it’s as good as the others.”

“Don’t worry about it,” said Raymond. “Even a brilliant Canadian poet has an off day now and then. We can write all about how this one comes from his mediocre period.”

They played around with a few other ideas and tried some experimental words out of the dictionary, but without results.

Sean, who had at first thought Raymond’s living arrangements to be a lunatic idea, felt strangely at home in the garage apartment now. After all, what else could be expected from Raymond Jardine, garbage bag? Idly, he imagined the fireworks if he asked if he could move into the Delancey garage. Hah! They wouldn’t even let Gramp, a grown man, have his own apartment in Brooklyn. Besides which, the garage was piled high with discarded revolutionary inventions — more little windmills that worked about as well as the big one at school.

***

Until a replacement could be found for Mr. Lai, the Nassau County pool of supply teachers sent a different substitute every day. On Wednesday, it was Mrs. Hurtig, a wonderfully jolly but completely unqualified lady who normally filled in for absent kindergarten teachers.

“I don’t know a computer from a toaster oven,” she announced pleasantly at the start of the class. “I can’t help you with your programs, but if you like, I can organize a singalong about ‘Rosie the Little Red Car.’”

The whole class loved her instantly, and they spent a companionable half hour just chatting.

They were interrupted by Mr. Hyatt’s voice on the PA system. “Attention, staff and students. There is no cause for alarm. Please evacuate the building by the shortest route. Once again, there is no cause for alarm.”

In the background, scuffling could be heard, and Engineer Johnson suddenly shouted, “Hit the deck!”

There was a series of sharp cracklings, and the PA system went dead along with the lights.

“Oh, dear,” said Mrs. Hurtig. “I suppose I should do something. I am the teacher, after all,” She looked thoughtful for a moment, and then bellowed, “Every man for himself!” and led the laughing, good-natured stampede to safety.

Out on the front lawn, the entire population of DeWitt High School was milling around in a sociable carnival of griping. Their irritation at being hit with yet another SACGEN inconvenience was mellowed by the opportunity to take a break from classes, and the students spent a pleasant few minutes mingling with friends. The prevailing attitude went from pleased to joyous when Engineers Sopwith and Johnson came running out of the building, their faces and clothing darkened with soot from a series of small explosions. The outbreak, however, wasn’t too serious, and the DeWitt Fire Department had everything under control in a matter of minutes.

“You can’t win ’em all,” said Howard philosophically. As soon as Mr. Hyatt had come on the PA, Howard had grabbed his table and chairs and set up his poker game on the lawn.

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